Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
