her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
