i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
