Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
