I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
