Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
