Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
