In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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