Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
