Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
