I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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