the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
