it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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