This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
