Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
