What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
