I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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