dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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