Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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