8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
