She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
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No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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