Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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