You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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