is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize