people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
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We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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