Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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