Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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