The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
