why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
