I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
