Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
