Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
