Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
