So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
