I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
