the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
