So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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