WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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