Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
