She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The air was thick with penises
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
