She is in my trunk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
