You're completely useless in the revolution.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
