You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize