now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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