It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize