South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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