i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
