Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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