So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
