Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
