I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize