we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
