I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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