She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize