So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
why do cheetos always look like penises
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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