I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
