weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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