i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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