so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize