If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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