Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
